How Your Sexual Past Can Bring Healing to Someone Else
Photo by Kelly Sikkema
Do you realize your history with God is important? What you have to say is worth something and has the divine ability to help transform the people around you.
The Bible talks about comforting others with the comfort we’ve received from God (2 Cor. 1:3–4). One area where people tend to need a lot of hope and reassurance is their sex life, particularly their sexual past. Many people carry deep regrets about the relationship decisions they’ve made. This is especially true for men and women who love Jesus and want to follow Him.
When you know what sex is, why it’s important, why waiting for marriage is a big deal, and that you are deeply loved even though you’ve made mistakes—the world opens up, and you can be a light for others.
The topic of sex becomes a way you can bring the light of God to the people around you.
Sex and the Human Spirit
According to the CDC, more than half of teenagers living in the United States will have had sex by the time they’re eighteen. That’s a big number, and it lets us know that as a nation, we don’t really understand what sex is. I don’t mean the act itself; I mean the significance of the act.
As humans, we are more than just physical people with physical bodies. Much more. One of the incredible things about our heavenly Father is that He cares about all of us, everything we are: body, soul, and spirit. He cares for each piece, and He works to help each piece.
In her book Healing for a Woman’s Emotions, Paula Sandford talks about the power of human touch and what happens during sex:
If God Himself invented sex and it was His idea, then why are we having such problems with it? People don’t understand the relationship of body and spirit. It is impossible for one person to touch another only physically… When two people become “one flesh” in an unholy union, their spirits latch on to one another because that is what their spirits were created to do.
The act of sex produces soul ties—your soul becomes “tied” to the other person’s. You’re basically inviting that person to come and live inside you, in a sense. A soul tie is an automatic response during sex. (Sometimes this tie can even occur with a kiss, but in this case, the tie tends to be less potent.)
Because of your past, you may know exactly what this soul tie feels like. But when you have seen the light of God in this area—His forgiveness, His love, His hope, His redemption, His continued joy over you—you are able to reassure other hearts that are afraid and steeped in shame:
“Look. I know how you feel right now. You wish this had never happened. But let me tell you what—Jesus loves you and He’s still here. You have not lost Him, and He has not lost you. I know this because I’ve done the same things, and He loved me anyway, and He brought me back to life. Let me tell you what He wants to do for you too.”
The Holy Metaphor of Sex
In her article titled “Why I Care About Your Sex Life…And So Should You,” Juli Slattery talks about sex being a “holy metaphor” for something much more important:
I could share with you the research about how healthy sexual intimacy correlates with an overall strong relationship. That, however, is not ultimately why I care about your sex life. Sexual intimacy within marriage is about more than you and your spouse having a good time in bed. It is a central aspect of a holy metaphor.
She goes on to say:
Our sexuality was created to be, at some level, a physical way for us to understand profound spiritual truths about the nature of God’s love for us. God pursues us with a love that is passionate and sacrificial. He invites us into a covenant relationship that transforms our identity, offers life-giving intimacy and asks for unquestioned fidelity.
That is how God feels about you. You are in a covenant relationship with Him that is sacred and special. It mirrors the committed relationship between a husband and wife. It is something that endures storms and doesn’t look back. God loves you dearly, and He isn’t going to break His covenant with you because you did something you now regret.
If you are starting to understand how much God really loves you, if you are finding healing from the past, “if you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love” (Phil. 2:1 NIV), you have something of value that you can share with others. As you are transformed, you can help others be transformed as well.
Spreading God’s Truth Naturally
The great thing about transformation is that it takes what you thought was your worst and turns it into something that helps other people see who Jesus is.
That’s what happened with the woman caught in adultery in John 8. Her story is still being used all these years later to show us what God is like. It isn’t a story about her shame—it’s a story about His goodness. The same is true about the thief on the cross. And Saul, who murdered Christians until that holy moment when Jesus showed him what was real, and Saul was changed forever.
Every person has regrets in one area or another. But as you discover His love and forgiveness, you realize that it’s going to be okay. In fact, it’s going to be incredible. Let your testimony of His goodness and redemption spread like wildfire.
Your heavenly Father loves you more than you realize. Other articles from Salomé Roat and Becoming the One:
For more information on sex, marriage, and finding the person who is right for you, get a copy of Becoming the One by Salomé Roat. Click here to learn more. The book is also available in Spanish.